We were supposed to have a post grad anthropology party. The thing is, the morning of, some of us found out that one of us had passed away. That was Sunday morning. Some of us, the few of us that were planning to go, were devastated. It just didn't happen. For me it was a sharp blow to the chest. That kind of pain that you never expect. Which is of course what took him...
A heart attack, deadly, in the middle of the night. I never for a moment thought that when he approached me for pictures at our graduation that it would be the last time I saw him. I struggle with loss. I don't deal with it well. I have a long history with loss, so some might think that it comes naturally to me. That I can deal with it better than others, but that is SOOOO not the case.
So this coming Friday our anthropology department is having a memorial for him. His family is all in either France or Portugal and I'm so glad that someone or many someones, whatever, thought that it would be good to hold a memorial here. His family is grateful to know that though he was far away to get his degree, that he was loved. I don't even know what to say about it. He was here two weeks ago and now he's gone.
He used to talk about making little action figures based on famous anthropological figures. I thought it was brilliant. He was brilliant. He was funny, sassy, smart, welcoming, warm, thoughtful, vibrant, caring, giving, wonderful, and all of those things that people say, except that he really was all of that.
Life is so brutal. I don't think any amount of higher education will ever be able to explain why.
2 comments:
Life is so unfair, and yes, it is extremely brutal. Reading about your friend reminded me of the daughter of your friend Muffy's friend. What craziness... to go to sleep and never wake up. I can only hope that everyone that we have lost is at peace... and that someday we will find our own peace.
Death is definitely one of those events that NEVER get easier, no matter how many times you have experienced it. Every death is under a different circumstance so it affects us differently, and that too is unfair... the creation of new wounds is just un-fucking-fair.
((Hugs))
We can only just love... keep giving our love... From the wise words of Dasan... "we just have to live so much for as long as we can, so that it really means something."
Kids can be so smart ;)
The ones that we lose that we will miss with depth, with all of our heart, those are the ones that really lived, with all they had. It will always mean so much. <3
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