Peek-a-boo

I was in hiding there for a bit, apologies. After taking a break from the blog for a week or so, I have realized that the reality is that even though there are people out there that want to paint me as a monster, the truth is that I have nothing to hide.

I start Monday working as an assistant to a professor at UC Berkeley. It is only a few hours a week, but it will be fun and I can do it from home. In addition to that I had a job interview that went well today and I have my fingers crossed that It will work out.

I have purchased Dasan's ticket for his DC conference and it wiped me out, but I have faith that I can make it all work. Of course, as you know I am not opposed to asking for help ;)

The program is not entirely paid for and they take around $250 from my account every month on the 15th. I don't have it...soooo... be generous if you can, or if you know anyone that can feel free to share the link! His facebook page is here: Dasan to DC!

I've been riding my bike around everywhere lately and it feels good. Tomorrow we're going to a birthday party and we get to swim! Love it.

Swimming with the fishes...

Sometimes when I'm in the shower I turn the water on really cold and pretend like I'm in a swimming pool. I miss swimming. I don't know how my mom did it when I was a kid, but we always had somewhere to swim. Either a beach or a pool. My kid can't really swim very well and I could swim before I could walk. My mom says that she just tossed me overboard and made me fend for myself because she was always afraid of what would happen if we got caught in a storm. We lived on a boat for the first year of my life. When she got pregnant with my brother we stopped living on the boat and after my dad was lost at sea, I'm pretty sure she didn't just toss my brother overboard, but he still could swim at a pretty young age. I remember she used to be a lifeguard at some pool that we would swim at when we were super little. I think by that time she had married my step dad. It might even have been at the hot springs near Julian, CA. We were such weird, tanned, water babies. Whenever someone asks what animal I would most like to be I say some kind of swimming animal. Like a dolphin. Or a shark. Or a giant whale. Or a manatee.

Anyway I really want to go swimming.

Today I am having Creme Brulee ice cream and a glass of wine for breakfast because I'm a grown up.

Energy, I need you.

I have been sick and mopey for days now. It's just silly. I need a job like crazy and it's getting really depressing. I have to book Dasan's tickets to DC and it's going to totally wipe me out. Plus I have to go to the dentist before I die of a tooth infection like the ancients. So basically this time next week I will have exactly zero dollars to my name and no foreseeable income. Horrifying. I'm hoping for a small miracle. I'm really kind of hoping that the self proclaimed "lesbian friendly sperm bank" calls me. That would be super interesting... wish me luck with all this. I need it.

ch.ch.ch.ch...changes...

This space needs a change.
Expect a revamp-ing soon.

My whole world view needs a re-vamping... in the vampiest way ever.

Something sparkely this way is coming...

Trying to take it day by day...

We were supposed to have a post grad anthropology party. The thing is, the morning of, some of us found out that one of us had passed away. That was Sunday morning. Some of us, the few of us that were planning to go, were devastated. It just didn't happen. For me it was a sharp blow to the chest. That kind of pain that you never expect. Which is of course what took him...

A heart attack, deadly, in the middle of the night. I never for a moment thought that when he approached me for pictures at our graduation that it would be the last time I saw him. I struggle with loss. I don't deal with it well. I have a long history with loss, so some might think that it comes naturally to me. That I can deal with it better than others, but that is SOOOO not the case.


So this coming Friday our anthropology department is having a memorial for him. His family is all in either France or Portugal and I'm so glad that someone or many someones, whatever, thought that it would be good to hold a memorial here. His family is grateful to know that though he was far away to get his degree, that he was loved. I don't even know what to say about it. He was here two weeks ago and now he's gone.

He used to talk about making little action figures based on famous anthropological figures. I thought it was brilliant. He was brilliant. He was funny, sassy, smart, welcoming, warm, thoughtful, vibrant, caring, giving, wonderful, and all of those things that people say, except that he really was all of that.


Life is so brutal. I don't think any amount of higher education will ever be able to explain why.